blog yesterday to write about the aftereffect of her
last post, where she accused pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo
of Common Wealth Of Zion Assembly of sexual
manipulation. Read below...
"The past week has 'killed' me. It has stripped
me of whatever 'self-importance' I nursed in the
corners of my mind. It has broken me and
opened me up to my real self. It has brought me
to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am
most grateful for.
When I sat with my MacBook to type my last
blog, I never imagined it would generate the kind
of attention it did and continues to. I have one
last thing to say on this issue before I lay it to
rest and move on. (I also hope others can move
on too, we have too much going on in this
Country to continue to peddle one for longer
than necessary.)
A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it
necessary to talk about this issue and spread it
throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read every
email sent to me with awe that people would take the
time out to reach a total stranger like me. Some were
cursing, calling me a witch from the pit of hell sent to
destroy the church as though one individual/church is
bigger than the body of Christ. As though God is mere
man and would cringe in heaven saying, "Ese don did
it this time." Or as if the good Book didn't state clearly
that ALL things work out for good for those that love
God.
Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL turn
around for good.
Some people say, 'I support you, you are brave and
courageous' and I wonder if those terms really define
me. I do not think I am brave or courageous. I do
know, however that after decades of sleepwalking
through life, I am now becoming aware not just
of myself but also of my environment, my world, and
the universe.
Some say, put out the evidence and we will believe
you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write that post, I
really didn't expect anyone to believe me. Well, apart
from those involved. And my motive was simple, let
one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of
the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its
responsibilities as God's legal representatives here in
the earth realm.
A copy of the 'evidence' is with a respected minister of
the gospel should the christian body decide to deal
with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am
not looking to have a 'me against them' case where I
need to prove I'm right and someone is wrong. I am
far from right, but I have used the only means
available to me to free myself of the bondage I put
myself in.
Lastly, to all the media people seeking interviews and
whatever else mailing me, I have nothing more to say
on this issue. I cannot reply every email as reading
them is beginning to seem like a new job.
I remember asking a friend once while reading the
book of Acts, "Why do we no longer operate in the
power the disciples did in Jesus day?" What has
changed? How do we 'unchange' it?
God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let's serve Him.
We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by
oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the ME ME
ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said, 'no one is
free until we are all free.'
Things have got to change and it begins with us. It
begins with each and every one of us borrowing
courage to stand for what we believe in. Fela Durotoye
once said, 'that thing that annoys you most in society
is a sign that you carry its solution.' (I'm
paraphrasing)
Nothing has called out to me more than people,
especially women, suffering in some way and hiding
the pain. Whatever we cover doesn't go away. It grows
and it finds different outlets to rear its ugly head until
we deal with it.
I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try
what I feel might work. I don't know what the entire
bible says but I am learning and applying the little I
find out
daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself
to figure it out for
themselves.
At the end of the day, we agree that 'men of God' are
firstly men, right? This means it's needless expecting
them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into
that trap of thinking a 'man of God' is equated to God
and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.
How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have
never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that
but we live in a generation/Country where people
don't want to study for themselves. They don't want to
read the Scriptures. Well, they don't want to read,
period. They want to pursue things instead and have
somebody do the praying and studying for them. If
you fall in that category, you need to repent.
I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given
equal access to the Father. No matter how long you
may have been in church, if you don't know what that
means you better ask somebody. And seek a real
relationship with the God you claim to serve.
That is what I am spending most of my time doing
these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The
peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and
tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I
did what I needed to do to the best of my
understanding.
My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way
or another.
Firstly, my family: I don't know how you guys aren't
sick of me yet
Secondly, 'the body of Christ,' my intention was never
to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt might spread
and become worse if nobody spoke up about it.
Lastly, to those who said I shouldn't blog again, I
respect and understand your concerns but the truth is,
writing is not just my gift, it is also my 'curse'. I cannot
'NOT' write but I PROMISE, this is the last I will say on
this issue except the christian body needs to see me.
God is building His church, and the gates of hell shall
not prevail against it. No sin is too big to wreck
anyone's faith. If it does, then it means it's working
out a greater good for you. You will definitely come
out stronger and better in the end. Like my best
friend says "in the end, it will be all right and if it ain't
alright, it's notthe end."
"…forgetting those things which are behind, and
reaching forth unto those things which are
before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the
high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Paul.
Cheers to the weekend people
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